Kyle Cease talks about why your worthiness isn’t defined by external factors and how dangerous that kind of thinking can be.
What if when a doctor says to you, “you have six months to live”, they mean your old story? Do you know what I’m saying? How many times, “ok you have six months to live”, “but if you change your diet and start meditating, you might have longer”. And then the person goes, “well, who I am as a bread eater?” So maybe your past story is trying to die, and your job is to become present so your past story can be purged from you. What if the universe in life is trying to purge our old stories, but we’re addicted to the story, so we’re trying to go down with it.
If you and I went to another planet and we were raised by two 20 foot tall aliens. And let’s say each one of them, one of them comes home drunk every night and he’s really loud. The first thing we’re going to do is do whatever we need to do to be safe. We’re with these aliens for 20 years. So this alien comes home and he is like, “rah, rah, rah”, and you’re like, “I better be quiet”. “When I’m around this alien, I got to be quiet”. And then there’s a second alien that, I don’t know, loves it when you tap dance”. So there’s this other aliens, like showing their alien friend, “look at him tap dancing”, and you’re like, “hello, my baby”.
It’s like this cute thing. So let’s say we had that for 20 years. Then they let you go to the rest of the planet and now you’re being quiet because you don’t want to get hurt, but you’re with new aliens that don’t give a shit. And you’re tap dancing and on a date the aliens are like, “I don’t even like tap dancing, I don’t care”. That’s not you, that’s called conditioning. Worthiness is something where under the illusion that we have to earn. We are under the illusion that unworthiness is even a thing. Like, you learn that Just creating the idea that who you are is the story, you actually already know that it was conditioning. And people think, “well, it took me 20, 30, 40 years to develop this conditioning, so it’ll take 20, 30, 40 years to undo it”. No, you don’t need to time, you need awareness.
The awareness of this moment is what you actually are. This moment. Now, I’m not saying patterns don’t show up, I’m not saying I don’t have triggers, I’m not saying I don’t accidentally become the story of what my past is, but when I listen to silence for two hours a day, I really get past the bullshit that says that taught unworthiness or the need for approval or someone who can be abandoned or the idea of making it happen is where you get love, these are all conditioning. And what you are in this moment, what I am, what anyone watching is evenly loved.
Now I understand, you can hear them go, “he doesn’t know my story”, and I just hold space for them and I go, “I get it, but that’s giving the story power when it’s actually not the truth”. Well, you and I have a million stories of people we know who have made a lot of money and weren’t happy. We know a ton of people, I know people who’ve committed suicide, had major drug addictions. In fact, the more they got of the thing that they thought they wanted, the more they actually feel, “why aren’t I happy”, and feel even sadder. So to me, there’s a new consciousness trying to happen, and it’s a consciousness that’s even bigger than just thinking positive, thinking positive is awesome, we need it. But in thinking positive, this is crazy, but we’re implying there is a negative. And which means I’m judging part of myself because that negative exists in me.
So the more I avoid my darkness and keep focusing on the light, the more that darkness is going to keep acting out. So my belief is, your ability to create is solely based on how much of your, which is your definition, darkness, you fall in love with. In other words, your ability to become rich in my eyes is based solely on how in love you can be with being broke. Your ability to have the greatest relationship in the world is solely based on how in love with you are with being alone.
The more you don’t need a relationship, the more you’re connected to yourself, the more you will create a match to that where you have someone else who doesn’t need them self, and that’s one plus one equals a million, versus one half plus one half equals one fourth where you have two codependents going, you’re the source of my happiness and you can help me avoid all of my darkness, so I’m going to make you the source of my happiness, and then in a year, we’re going to realize this doesn’t work because I am still stuck with my sadness.
How about not only that, your ability to live your life, I find, is based solely on how OK you are with death. And if you can be in love with death and death doesn’t only form based on our physical death. Our cells are dying all day, hair cells dying all day, past stories are trying to die. And humans have gotten this thing that death is a bad thing, so we hold on to old stories via the crap in the garage, the relationship that doesn’t serve us anymore, the career that we’ve been in for 20 years, and these things are trying to die. And I have a belief that’s kind of crazy, but there’s only two reasons we keep something in our life.
One is because we want it and love it and it expands us, and the other is because we’re scared of it falling apart. And our fear of it falling apart is based solely on our belief that things shouldn’t fall apart. And when someone says to me, “I’m trying to keep it together”, I’m like, “why?” Anything you’re trying to keep together is something that’s trying to fall apart, I’m not trying to keep my arms on because they’re supposed to be on, but there’s some shit in my life that’s trying to fall apart.
So my job is to not stop that. What if when a doctor says to you, “you have six months to live”, they mean your old story? Do you know what I’m saying? How many times, “ok, you have six months to live”, “but if you change your diet and start meditating, you might have longer”. And then the person goes, “well, who I am as a bread eater?” So maybe your past story is trying to die, and your job is to become present so your past story can be purged from you. What if the universe in life is trying to purge our old stories, but we’re addicted to the story, so we’re trying to go down with it. Let’s say you’re someone who has a belief that who you are is someone who makes twenty thousand dollars a year. It’s in your system.
In other words, you’ve learned that with your parents, it’s just in your body that, “this is my story, money doesn’t grow on trees”, all these things. So we can create a lot of motivation and we create a lot of stuff. So. “look, I achieved all this money”. Yeah, but that’s death to the story of who you are, so you’re going to have to sabotage this. Because you think you’re the small story and now you’ve got a million bucks. And that’s death, you literally have created a world where you have friends that connect with you on how hard it is to make money and now you have all this money and that would be death to those connections, that would be death to your connection to your dad, who says, “it’s really hard”. And I find the real truth of what we are is so much bigger than money.
Do you realize that you’re the source of every dollar you made? So why are we excited about money? We should be excited about you. If we measure we’re loved based on what we’ve achieved, we’re actually enslaved to our achievement, and as Wayne Dyer, one of both of ours hero, says, “if that goes away, you go away too”. So if you’re much more this moment, you’re actually able to create and receive on a much higher dimension, because I’m just this moment and that’s totally true. And it’s such a corny, airy fairy thing, but really embrace this idea, you and I are only this moment. There’s literally nothing else. And it’s so easy for our stories to kick in and go, “well, I make this much or I’m from this country, or I’m this gender”. And that’s where we create the illusion of separation. And that’s what cuts us off from our worthiness, our creativity, our flow, our joy, we’re only this moment.